The Comic’s Haven: It was an Honor.

The Old Catskills Resorts were once a haven for American Comedy; an honor which has forever made its mark on the region, if not the world.  Every year, tens of thousands of New Yorkers would flock to the Hudson Valley to relax in luxury, enjoy the outdoors, and be entertained by the pioneers of modern stand-up.

Milton Berle, George Burns, Sid Caesar, Don Rickles, Jackie Mason… the list goes on and on.  Perhaps the greatest legacy of The Kings of the Catskills is “the one-liner”.

While many of the old Catskill comics have passed on, the one liner still thrives today.  In honor of the Catskills heritage as a comedy haven, we’ve complied the best of the best of the one-liners of old.

I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport.

I've been in love with the same woman for 49 years. If my wife ever finds out, she'll kill me!

The doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill, so the doctor gave him another six months.

You have the Midas touch. Everything you touch turns to a muffler. 

A doctor has a stethoscope up to a man's chest. The man asks, "Doc, how do I stand?" The doctor says, "That's what puzzles me!"

I wish my brother would learn a trade, so I would know what kind of work he's out of.

A car hit an elderly man. The paramedic says, "Are you comfortable?" The man says, "I make a living."

I was playing golf. I swung, missed the ball, and got a big chunk of dirt. I swung again, missed the ball, and got another big chunk of dirt. Just then, 2 ants climbed on the ball saying, "Let's get up here before we get killed!" 

Doctor: "You'll live to be 60!" Patient: "I AM 60!" Doctor: "See! What did I tell you?"

Patient: "I have a ringing in my ears." Doctor: "Don't answer!"

While the days of Catskill Comedy may be gone, the Hudson Valley is still a favorite destination for tens of thousands of visitors every year.  With endless opportunities for recreation, entertainment, relaxation, and outdoor activites, it’s no wonder.

Formerly "The Granit", The Hudson Valley Resort & Spa, is honored to have been a part of the great Catskill haven of comedy.  Conveniently located just 90 miles from New York City, we're always happy to host groups of any size.  With 41,000 sq. ft. of banquet and meeting space, grand ballrooms and theater, we’re tickled pink to have you.  Give us a look, and find out how affordable true customer service and comfort can be.

Top 20 Hudson Valley Mother's Day Quotes

With Mother’s Day quickly approaching, we decided to gather up the top 20 Quotes which best exemplify the personal crisis which every mother in the Hudson Valley finds herself facing sooner or later- speaking with the same clichés her own mother used! 

20) “If everyone else jumped off a cliff, would you?”

19) “It’s all fun and games until someone loses an eye.”

18) “Do you think I was born yesterday?”

17) “Why? Because I said so, that's why!”

16) “Money doesn't grow on trees!”

15) “Don’t put that in your mouth.”

14) “Did you put on clean underwear? What will people think if you’re in an accident?”
13) “Wash behind your ears—I can see carrots growing back there.”
12) “Finish your meal—there are children starving in (misc. impoverished country)
11) “Would you eat like that on a first date?”
10) “Would it hurt to call once in a while?”

9) “Are you proud of yourself?”

8) “I went through labor, and you can't even do this one little thing?”

7) “I’ll give you something to cry about”

6) “I’m the one who brought you here, don’t think I can’t take you out.”

5) “Slow down. You’ve got your whole life to be a grown up.”
4) “You call that a broken heart? You’ve got a lot of living to do.”
3) “If you keep making that face, it’s going to freeze that way.”
2) “Sticks and stone may break your bones, but names will never hurt you.”

And finally....
1) “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.”

At Hudson Valley Resort & Spa, we respect the enormous personal sacrifices mothers make for their families, and understand the daily stress and fatigue they endure.      

This Mother’s Day, there’s no better way to show your mom that you care than by giving the gift of relaxation- and there’s no better way to relax than a trip to the Spa.  That's why we're offering deeply discounted room rates and 10% off spa treatments with our Mother's Day Weekend Spa Getaway. 

Do you have a favorite Mom Cliché, or have you coined a new one yourself?  Comment below, and tell us about it!

History of the Catskill Resorts

The Catskills have long been a center of American leisure and recreation; nothing exemplifies this rich heritage more than the history of the grand Catskill Resorts.

The Granit Hotel, circa 1940's

Initially drawn to the area by the scenic beauty and pastoral natural harmony of life in the Catskills, vacationers seeking refuge from the hectic hustle of daily life in New York City began flocking to area hotels in the early 20th century.

By the 1950’s The Catskills had become synonymous with the American leisure lifestyle.  Grand Hotels like The Concord, Grossingers, The Granit, and the Tamarack Lodge gave rise to a unique Catskill culture which drew in hundreds of thousands of visitors each year.

Serving up non-stop meals and endless entertainment, the Catskill Resorts were the training ground for world renowned comedians such as Woody Allen, Mel Brooks, Rodney Dangerfield, Jerry Lewis, The Three Stooges, and many others.  Other popular performers at the Catskill Resorts included Benny Goodman, Mel Torme, and Barbara Streisand.

The Concord, circa 1959

As American attitudes shifted through the 60’s and 70’s, the growing demand for outdoor recreation made the Catskills Resorts a popular destination for people eager to explore the area’s majestic landscape, hike along the regions extensive network of trails, and enjoy the beautifully manicured golf courses which several resorts had to offer. 

By the turn of the 21st century, the realities of a changing world economy forced many of the Catskill resorts to close their doors. Grossingers, The Concord, the Tamarack lodge, and most others have all disappeared.  

Incorporating new opportunities for recreation, health and wellness, the few resorts which remain today are going strong, and proudly continue to preserve the rich heritage of the grand Catskill Resort tradition.  

Formerly The Granit,
the Hudson Valley  Resort today

Formerly known as the Granit, the Hudson Valley Resort & Spa is the perfect destination for groups of all sizes.  Situated on 400 gorgeous acres with stunning mountain views, this beautifully renovated Catskill Resort offers guests an unparalleled Catskill experience.

For those seeking the perfect balance of charm and comfort, the Catskills are still King.

Have a memory of the Catskills to share?  Comment below, and tell us about it!

Catskill Mountains - Jewel of the American Landscape

The Catskill Mountains; jewel of the great American landscape- long the muse of poets, painters, musicians and writers alike, the enchanted Catskills remain as mysterious and evocative as ever.

The eyes of the world were turned towards the Catskills and the Hudson Valley in the mid- 19^th century by the masterpiece landscapes of the Hudson River School painters whose stunning romantic depictions of the region’s natural beauty forever changed the image of the New World. 

Depicting the Catskills as the ultimate embodiment of nature’s sublime beauty; the Hudson River School artists regarded these mountains as a sort of primeval eden.  Is it any wonder?

From the majestic cascade of Katterskill Falls to the dramatic eastern profile of the Escarpment, from the cool crags of Platte Clove to the legendary Willowemoc creek, the Catskills are truly “forever wild”.  

Home to bobcat, mink, fishers, coyote and black bear, the Catskills Mountains are a precious refuge for the preservation of countless species.

Protected by Article 14 of the State’s constitution, the Catskill Park consists of 700,000 acres of public land, and 287,500 acres of forest preserve which offer the visitor endless possibilities for outdoor adventure and exploration.

Opportunities for hunting, camping, fishing, and canoeing; challenging hiking trails, striking landscapes and scenic mountain roads, unique cultural events and quaint villages define the Catskill region today.

Situated on the south-eastern edge of the “blue line”, the Hudson Valley Resort & Spa is the perfect place to discover the natural beauty of the Catskill Mountains for yourself.

Have a favorite feature of the Catskill region, or a memory to share?  Comment below, and tell us about it!

Body, Mind and Spirit: Hudson Valley Spas

The world is accelerating.

Every day seems a mad dash to the finish line; a constant struggle just to meet the demands of our careers and our families.  With so many things competing for our attention in these uncertain times, trying to balance our “life load” can be a challenge. 

Rates of stress related disorders are at an all time high; according to the American Medical Association, stress is a major factor in more than 75% of illnesses today.

It’s more important than ever to find time for ourselves.  Hudson Valley spas can provide peace, relaxation, and guidance to help you live a healthier, happier life. 

Slow your world down.

Millions of Americans have felt a difference in their lives by making time to visit a spa.  Offering precious refuge from a frenzied world, there’s no better place to disconnect, relax, and recharge your body, mind, and spirit.

Today’s spas offer experiences as unique as you are; whether you choose a Hot Stone Massage, Reiki session, or Shiatsu, a seaweed-algae mud treatment or a European facial, you can be sure that you’ll walk away refreshed.

So go ahead.  Make the time to take care of yourself.  Visit the spa at Hudson Valley Resort, and begin your journey toward healthier, happier living.  With all that you do, you deserve it.